Join The Swearing Project
Change your life in 23 days
What the heck!
There was a ute on my side of the road as I navigated the twisty country roads home.
What the heck! I smiled. I laughed a little. Where had that come from? No swearing. No F-bomb. What the heck!
Writing this makes me smile now. That was the moment I realised my Swearing Project had worked.
Recently, I removed what I believe is my final crutch by starting my #swearingproject and finally learned what the Stoics teach – how to control my emotions. How to have a pause before I react.
You know the pause I mean? The one people tell you to count to 10 or breath to get. Those didn’t work well for me. They didn’t have anywhere near the 100% effectiveness rate I wanted.
Not swearing meant I had to stop and think about what I was about to say. Sometimes, I didn’t have the right words so I had to find better things to respond with. It wasn’t easy. But I persevered and I found the pause. I found the time to give myself before I react. If I react at all. Sometimes I don’t need to say anything. Just listen.
My wife hated it
When I swear my wife instantly puts up a wall. and no matter what I’ve said it lands badly. And so reacts and then I react. It’s called the negative interaction cycle and we all do it. It’s like an infinite loop of bullets you keep firing at each other. Oftentimes the feelings you’re having are absolutely nothing to do with the discussion you’re having.
The pause overcomes that. Because when you’re in control of your reaction. When you can pause and think about what this might be like for yourself and your partner the reaction you get back is totally different. You don’t fall into the negative interaction cycle and wind up saying the same old stuff and having the same old interactions that leave you feeling unheard and unloved.
The Swearing Project is the only thing that has been 100% effective for me. I had no idea it would change my interactions, my emotions and my life like it has. And strongly believe that pause where you have to think of something else to say will change your life too.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
- Swearing is like removing the cork from a volcano. It lets my emotions overflow and explode.
- Not swearing makes me pause and choose my words more carefully.
- People swear to fit in.
- My father-in-law made a decision not to swear with a friend of his. No one knew this. We just thought he just didn’t swear.
- My wife only didn’t want me to swear in front of the kids.
- When I tightened the parameters, I had a terrible week.
- The F word doesn’t occur to me as often as it did.
Common myths about swearing I’ve learned:
- swearing is not a sign of intelligence
- swearing is not a sign of a lack of vocabulary and low intelligence
- you can’t stop swearing
There’s more besides this that I’m learning every day. It’s funny now that, like when I stopped drinking, people behave differently around me once they know I don’t swear. They might even apologise when they do.
When you have removed all the crutches, the only thing you have left is to be better. I’m not saying you should do this, but in my opinion, it’s worth testing it.
TLDR: The Challenge
This is a simple challenge where the key is to track your swearing using simple tools and noting when you swore. I’ve created a Facebook group to support you and weekly emails to kickstart your thinking and help you find your purpose.
Glenn Edley is the Founder and Strategy Guy at Spike. Spike design, build, test, send and optimise emails for many of New Zealand’s leading brands as well as a whole host of small to medium businesses.
He is also the author of the MondayMotivator, a weekly inspirational email to kickstart your thinking and power you through the week. And the co-author of Light Your won Fire: How to find purpose in your life.
Glenn believes in being consistent so much he didn’t miss a week of the MondayMotivator for over 10 years! These days the MondayMotivator is delivered to thousands of avid readers every Monday except for public holidays.
He loves challenges like Nick Grays One minute plank a day and does 100 Hindu Squats and 10 Hindu Pushups a day.
Glenn has always been passionate about helping businesses’ send #emailwithpurpose. He believes having consistent and clear communication with your clients and customers is the best way to stay top of mind, sell stuff and keep your customers. He also believes you are an experiment of one and you should always test your beliefs and habits to see if they work for you.
What you’ll learn
Included in the Swearing Project:
✔️ Weekly email to kickstart your thinking
✔️ Facebook group to be supported in your progress
✔️ Personal video from Glenn when you hit your first five days
✔️ Link to the app I use to track my progress
✔️ Daily gratefulness habit
✔️ The daily story homework habit
✔️ The sleep cast I listen to
✔️ Why you should plank for 1 minute a day
✔️ How I’ve done 60,700 Hindu Squats and 5,260 Hindu Squats
✔️ And the other simple fitness routine I’ve found easy to follow.
TOTAL VALUE $PRICELESS
Bonus: Meet and support likeminded people who want to be better humans.