If you pay close attention to your thoughts you might find that a lot of your thinking is in the past. And, it tends to be focused on past negative experiences; things you got wrong but can’t seem to forgive yourself for it. Things someone did you can’t help but bring up and affect the present. Or things you might have failed at once and never picked up the courage to try again.
So what can you learn from that?
Not much, unfortunately. In many cases, you tell yourself that you won’t try those things again for fear of failure. For example, you don’t want to stand up and speak. The same applies to handling others, friends, work colleagues, and new customers.
A survey by the Carnegie Institute, in which they interviewed ten thousand people across the USA, who had been dismissed the previous year. Revealed they had been dropped because they couldn’t get along with others. However, the survey revealed they didn’t have a relationship problem, what they had was a communication problem.
Some of the problems lie at the door of self-confidence and a lack of faith in oneself. Not to mention a lack of humour which always helps.
For example, 20 executives board an aeroplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology: It is an un-crewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company’s software is running the aircraft’s automatic pilot system.
Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse. One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. When asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replies: “If it’s the same software that runs my company’s IT systems, this plane won’t even take off. This is called Confidence.
Fear is a great destroyer of confidence.
Here is a strategy for handling fear:
- Start programming a belief in your financial future
- Prepare a health and fitness programme
- Surround yourself with positive people and avoid the naysayers
- Be a contributor to society by utilising your talents for the benefit of others
- Create something now that will affect your future
Lastly, stop turning your everyday problems into a crisis – mini or maxi. When you adopt the mindset of crisis you develop stress which is a prescription for self-destruction. Re-think your expectations for the future by either increasing them or lowering them. Too many expect too much of themselves and set impossible giant tasks and fixate on their accomplishment instead of chunking them into manageable pieces.
Qualities of the self-confident person
Self-confidence is important in many aspects of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence find it difficult to become successful.
From the gentle confident accountant whose advice you sometimes rely on, to the emphatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires. It is contagious. People inspire confidence in others whether this is in a sales situation, in front of a small audience, their peers, their bosses, and their friends. Building self-confidence is a sure pathway to success
The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well worth the effort!